Whether you are a reader or writer, you may have heard about the ‘break-out’ novel. It is a work of fiction that goes beyond the brand you, as a writer, have established. It may be a deliberate decision or a chance moment where characters and events lead you far beyond the comfort zone of your usual style or established genre.
Coincide? Serendipity? Destiny? Call it what you will, but for many writers it is the moment when a book will change your life. Readers are often changed by a book, but a writer? Surely, a writer is in ‘control’ of her creation?
It was 2012, an August Sunday morning and I was driving to my local writers’ group meeting. Suddenly, a vision appeared in my mind’s eye: a blonde-haired woman standing next to a fireman in a helmet with a red badge emblazoned with the number ‘3’. Their backs were turned to me as they watched the twin towers burning. In that instant I knew my next book would be about September eleven. I had no warning, nothing to inspire this vision. It was there and it was what I had to do. I knew the names of my characters; the title of the book was ‘Phoenix’. The front cover is almost exactly what I saw…
Monday morning, I began my research. I knew very little about New York, or the fire department. Like everyone I had witnessed the 2001 terrorist attacks on the news, but not comprehended the full reality of the events: the triumph and the tragedy. Early that week during the research I came across a document about ensuring the safety of first responders. A passage made me stop reading and this was the moment that changed my life. The true ‘ah-ha’ moment. I realised, then that the story of 9/11 was more than I had ever envisaged. I wasn’t going to write my usual book.
Months later, after immersing myself in the research, I had a bookshelf of downloaded pages, DVDs and books. I lived and breathed 9/11. My characters defined the story, and there would be a love story. My heroine was Australian. My hero was a Brooklyn firefighter. They were survivors of the day. But what was it like to survive when so many friends had died? PTSD and survivor’s guilt. Simple words – maybe, but defined by a world of emotion.
The coincidences and ‘messages’ tumbled one after another through my daily life. The number ‘3’ and ‘339’ followed me around wherever I went. Cars parked across the road from my home had number plates: ‘339’ and ‘911’. I was used to these ‘messages’ by now. There were spiritual encounters and paths that led me down many ‘rabbit holes’ to understanding and disbelief. These events changed my life. What is life? What is death? Is there life after death? Does spirit die? What is a hero? I heard the word ‘boatlift’ early in my research and I discovered another story within the 9/11 story – and at the time very few people knew what it was. ‘Boatlift’ reduced me to tears. It defined (for me) the word ‘hero’. Ordinary people doing extraordinary things.
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| Phoenix manuscript |
As a writer I always started at page one and wrote until the last page and typed ‘the end’. Phoenix was different. Part One I wrote in a frenzy of emotion and deep passion. Readers have said that ‘it felt as if I was there on that day’. Other chapters in Part Two (particularly) – I saw scenes and I had to write them before I could move on to the story. These scenes were deeply disturbing, emotional roller coaster rides that after I had finished, I had to rest. I wove these scenes seamlessly into the narrative.
Later in 2012, I realised that even though my research was impeccable, what was it like to walk the streets of New York? The smell? The sounds? Why was I drawn to a specific place in Brooklyn? Why? Why? The answer was: I had to go to New York on this journey of discovery and I had to pay my respects to the tragedy at the site of ‘Ground Zero’. I booked my ticket. My writer friends believed that “she will never do it”. Ha! I got on that plane (June 2013) and I was not afraid of flying. I knew this was my destiny.
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| Astrid in front of the memorial pools at the Ground Zero site |
I walked New York, I visited a particular firehouse. I visited Ground Zero. I paid my respects to firemen I had met during my journey. From the very first moment on that August morning, my heroine’s name was Phoebe Warren. As I walked away from Ground Zero I discovered a street – Warren Street. Ah-ha! Another link to the story. And Phoebe—a first name I would never consciously choose for my heroine, but I later discovered a 9/11 attachment…
A retired fireman in Brooklyn told me about Green-Wood Cemetery and the story of FDNY Ladder 118. I visited the cemetery and with so many profound and emotional moments at this place, I had to sit and think and try to understand how and why I came to be there. The how and why is fictionalised in my book, Phoenix.
I visited the Fire Museum in New York. I donned a firefighter’s bunker gear (important to know what it felt like to wear it, which I used for my book). The helmet with its number ‘3’. I remembered that day in August 2012. Number ‘3’ on the red badge of the fireman. Here I was in New York, wearing a FDNY helmet with number 3…
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| Astrid in bunker gear. Note helmet with the number 3. |
Some writers decide to write the’ break-out’ novel. Others are led by destiny to write a book that challenges. I had many moments when I thought that I can’t write this book. I am not good enough. I am ‘just’ a romance/paranormal genre writer. (There is nothing ‘just’ about any writer—no matter what she writes). But there are times when circumstance call us to ‘adventure’ and Phoenix was my adventure, and so it remains to this day.
I have faced criticism by a publisher for its length (you have obviously over-written it with too many characters, we want an 80,000 word story for it to be commercial); or another publisher: change the title; or, (most hurtful): who are you?—you aren’t ‘qualified’ to write this book… Phoenix remains special and I fought hard to maintain its integrity. I wasn’t going to let it become commercialised and dilute its message, or its characters. In this writer’s journey my strength was tested. Passion and integrity—the book had to be what it is and to hell with it being ‘commercial’. I believe the characters and the story are inspirational.
How many times, as writers have we been tempted (or coerced) into re-writing something that diverges from our vision? Phoenix gave me the courage to believe in myself and my writing. Of course, I will always be open to editorial commentary, but not for Phoenix.
It also gave me the courage to follow another dream—to open a second-hand book shop (September, 2026 – yes, that date!) Because there are other authors whose books don’t fit a ‘genre’, or a commercial mould—I have places for these ‘break-out’ books on the shelves of Book Nook.
May you find and write the book of your heart and soul. Dare to be Different. It will be a challenge. You will shed tears. You will laugh. You will discover friends to support your journey. Do not accept limitations to your words, your life, your soul. Write your ‘break-out’ novel.
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